Californication!!

There’s something special about this TV series that I’m watching this past couple of days. It’s called “Californication” featuring a writer called ‘Hank Moody’ – an alcoholic, a sex-addict and the twists and turns of his almost pathetic life (in my opinion). The surprising thing about my addiction to this series is the amount to which I have got hooked to it and the main reason is my immense likability of this main character, I think. I’m watching it way too much – to the tune that I now have watched about 16 episodes of it in the past 3 days almost back to back, almost forcing myself not to watch it because it has started coming in my sleep and is messing with it.

On one hand, you loathe the uncontrollable sex and the sheer lack of commitment that he shows in his life. On the other hand, his writing and the romanticism that his words reflect, the way he takes in the life, can make even a guy feel the stars around his head and flashbacks of your life are almost a given. For girls, he is of course a killer and that’s why there are way too many of them in the series as well :)

The one thing though still attracts you towards this character in a big way inspite of all his idiosyncrasies is that he is a very very good father to a sweet adolescent daughter that he cherishes highly. Since he is a writer by profession, he always shares that there are no boundaries in life for one to achieve and its especially awe-inspiring for us, Indians as we have always been stuck in a rut around what we could do with our lives, within the means possible. We have always been taught to play safe- handful of careers to go for, for the tough life in India and a simpler way to live for, not thinking too much out of the normal.

So in a nutshell, this guy gives hope to the wannabes in this life, in marriage, in parenthood or else. It’s simply amazing as otherwise it’s very difficult to inspire such people and I’m one of them!!

Lonely streets

Why?Lonely streets, lonely hearts, loneliness, why I get a shrug because of it .why it feels like a quake? It doesn’t used to be like this, it doesn’t used to give me shivers till the time I was in the range of my fellows whom I took for granted for the life-time but turned out to be very short-spanned, I felt betrayed, I felt I had been looted and deprived of all the possessions of this world. I thought it’s outrageous, I cried foul,I felt as if the world is severe and the Time is the ghastliest sword of this universe that can’t be beaten. He suppresses men to live by it and forces them to bear all the harshness and stiffness. a dreaded feeling, I felt as if nobody is there to pull me out, nobody is with me ,treading along the tragic path. Why I am the only one in this big world who is suffering to this extent .why I am being made a scapegoat for the sins of other people.why I am being subjugated to this tremor. Why should I suffer? why? All, in vain, no answer! the dark veil of this loneliness took me under its hood and I shrieked, nobody heard ,did it come out of my throat ?yes it did but nobody heard ,why ? Is this world similar to the lava which melts away whatever comes into its path? I was helpless, I couldn’t do anything, I felt my energy, my strength draining out and I was not even being able to hold it at any point of time.it became a watch-glass with a hole in its bottom.my soul was beaten hard, by an unknown enemy. I was not even being able to see myself in the ghastly darkness,. No shine, no rays, nothing even in the hindsight.i didn’t have enough energy to move my eyes and see the dawn.i was not even being able to see the horizon, I could not see the end of the darkness. Wherever I could see I was seeing the frightening murk.i despised it, my shout didn’t reach out, I was being strangled by a force that had no body and figure. My heart was being ruptured by somebody whom I couldn’t stop, no force was not sufficient for it.it broke me. I wept and wept and wept, for hours days and weeks, lost the count of time.

Suddenly I felt the warmth, somebody gave me another shrug but this was altogether different. I felt even the warmth of the sun had a cool breeze encapsulated in it and I felt relief in that breeze. It didn’t have that chill in it, which was piercing me earlier and causing havoc in my sight as well. I felt my breath was coming back and it relaxed me, I took a sigh of relief, loneliness was evaporating and instantly I sensed that all my grieves are over .I could see the people on the roads walking, could hear the sounds of the babies at the backyard which was unclear but was becoming clearer with the time.The trauma was over and the suffering was gone. The energy in my limbs was coming back to norm.the clouds were gone. A clear blue sky. The breeze had a fragrance in it but it was not disguising me. I could sense the energy reverberating deep down.
I was been given a hug by my partner.